Title: A Call for Sanity Amidst the Chaos: The Unsettling Threat to Our Nation’s Taverns

Dear reader,

I’m writing today as a concerned citizen, not just a columnist. Because the more I think about it, the more I realize that our nation is at risk of descending into utter chaos. And no, I’m not talking about Brexit or the latest antics from the Royal Family (although, let’s be real, Prince William’s eco-conversations with his kids do make me want to reach for my earplugs).

No, my friends, today I am talking about a far more pressing issue: pub names. Yes, you heard that right – pub names! The ones our grandfathers and -mothers used to frequent, where we’d spend hours sipping on a pint of warm beer while complaining about the state of the world.

Now, as I’m sure you’re aware, a convicted terrorist has taken it upon themselves to demand we change these sacred establishments’ names. And honestly, who can blame them? I mean, what’s next – demanding we rename our streets after the likes of Hitler and Pol Pot?

It’s enough to drive me to drink, quite frankly!

But seriously, this is a slippery slope if ever there was one. What will they want to change next? The names of our children’s schools? Our national parks? No, I think not.

In any case, as I sit here nursing my glass of lukewarm beer and pondering the state of our nation, I am reminded of a wise old adage: “if at first you don’t succeed, change the pub name.” Alright, alright, I know that’s not a real thing… but it could be!

And with that, I’ll leave you to ponder the existential crisis unfolding in front of me.

Source: http://www.dailymail.co.uk