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A Psychologist Reveals 4 Types Of ‘Sexual Perfectionism’—And Which Is Worst
As a psychologist, I’ve noticed a disturbing trend in our society – the pursuit of sexual perfection. This phenomenon can lead to anxiety, guilt, and shame for not meeting unrealistic standards, ultimately hindering true intimacy and pleasure.
Research suggests that there are four types of sexual perfectionism: socially prescribed, self-prescribed, partner-preserved, and internally-prescribed.
1. **Socially Prescribed Sexual Perfectionism**: This type occurs when an individual believes that society or others expect them to behave in a certain way sexually. For instance, you may feel pressure to be more sexual or aggressive due to societal norms or unrealistic expectations perpetuated by pornography.
Many individuals internalize these standards and feel compelled to conform. This can lead to comparing oneself or one’s sexual relationship to societal ideals, feeling inadequate if one’s sex life doesn’t match perceived norms, and experiencing guilt or shame for not meeting these externally imposed standards.
2. **Self-Prescribed Sexual Perfectionism**: Self-prescribed perfectionism is when an individual has internalized unrealistic expectations and believes that they must meet these impossible standards themselves. This can lead to self-criticism and negative self-talk.
3. **Partner-Prescribed Sexual Perfectionism**: Partner-prescribed perfectionism occurs when someone believes their partner expects them to meet impossibly high sexual standards. Research suggests that this type of perfectionism is the most detrimental to a person’s sexual self-concept, which includes feelings about one’s own sexuality, desires, preferences, body image and how they express or experience intimacy.
A study found that partner-prescribed sexual perfectionism is associated with higher levels of sexual anxiety, self-blame for sexual problems, pain during intercourse and lower sexual self-esteem, desire, arousal, lubrication and orgasmic function. This is concerning because it can create a vicious cycle of performance anxiety and dissatisfaction in the bedroom.
4. **Internally-Prescribed Sexual Perfectionism**: Internally-prescribed perfectionism occurs when an individual sets unrealistically high standards for themselves without any external pressure. Unfortunately, this type of perfectionism can still lead to negative consequences such as sexual dysfunction, reduced libido and poor overall well-being.
In conclusion, it’s essential to recognize that striving for sexual perfection is a myth that can ultimately harm our ability to connect with others and find true intimacy.
Source: www.forbes.com
