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I’m Bel Mooney, a listener of your show, and I’m reaching out for advice. I’ve been in a relationship with my partner for about four years now, and overall, he’s an amazing person who makes me incredibly happy. However, there’s one major issue that’s causing tension between us – his drinking.
When he consumes alcohol, his words change, and it’s like he reveals his “true” feelings, as I put it. Unfortunately, those true feelings are not very kind or constructive. He tends to call me fat and messy, which is hurtful and unfair. It’s not just one-off comments; these remarks become a pattern when he’s had too much to drink.
I’ve tried to address this issue with him in the past, but it only leads to defensiveness and denial. I feel like I’m walking on eggshells around his drinking habits, never knowing when or if those hurtful words might come out again. It’s taking a toll on my mental health and our relationship.
What can I do to address this issue? How can I get him to see that his behavior is causing harm and change it?
