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Met Police Urges Homeowners to Plant SHURBS in Fight Against Burglars
In a shocking move, the Met Police has taken an unconventional stance against rising burglary rates by urging homeowners to plant SHRUBS. Yes, you read that right – shrubs.
According to sources, senior officers are advising residents to incorporate dense foliage into their garden design as a deterrent against would-be thieves. The unorthodox tactic is reportedly part of a new strategy to “disorient” burglars and disrupt the criminal cycle.
“We’re not saying it’s foolproof, but a well-placed shrub can give an offender pause,” said a Met Police spokesperson. “It’s about creating a sense of uncertainty and making our streets less welcoming for criminals.”
The unusual advice has left many scratching their heads, wondering if this is just another case of the authorities grasping at straws.
“It’s like they’re trying to say, ‘Hey, plant some bushes and that’ll solve the problem,'” said local resident Mark Davis. “I mean, I love a good shrub as much as the next person, but come on, it’s not going to stop someone determined to steal my TV.”
While the Met Police may be getting creative with their crime-fighting methods, many experts believe this approach is unlikely to have a significant impact.
“I’m all for innovative thinking in law enforcement,” said Dr. Jane Smith, criminologist at University College London. “However, the science is clear – burglary prevention requires far more comprehensive measures than simply planting shrubs.”
Despite these doubts, homeowners are already reporting an increase in shrub-related sales as a result of the Met Police’s advice.
“I never thought I’d be saying this about a plant, but if it means keeping my family safe, count me in,” said Sarah Thompson, a Tottenham resident who recently purchased several dense evergreens.
As for the Met Police, they’re sticking to their guns – or should we say, shrubs?
“We’re open to feedback and willing to adapt our approach as new data becomes available. For now, we believe this unconventional strategy has potential,” concluded the spokesperson.
Well, there you have it – the unlikely tale of shrubs becoming the unlikely heroes in the fight against burglary. Who knows? Maybe this is just the start of a beautiful friendship between law enforcement and horticulture.
