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Why Men Are Less Likely To Initiate Divorce Than Women — By A Psychologist
As a psychologist, I have witnessed the devastating impact of unhappy marriages on men’s mental and emotional well-being. Despite this, men are often less likely to initiate divorce than women, and it’s essential to understand the complex reasons behind this phenomenon.
Firstly, many men feel an overwhelming sense of responsibility towards their family, especially their children, even if the relationship itself no longer feels fulfilling. In fact, a 2021 study published in the Journal of Social Welfare and Family Law found that separated fathers described “home” not just as a physical space but as a combination of emotions, relationships, routines, and surroundings. Despite their efforts to engage in meaningful activities and create emotionally supportive environments, these fathers often experience a sense of loss or insecurity when they are no longer the primary caregiver.
These men may stay in an unhappy marriage due to feelings of guilt, duty, or societal pressure, which can lead to emotional suppression and a lack of self-care. The study highlights how their parenting efforts might not be fully recognized or valued by society, making them feel like their contributions are invisible. When their children are absent, the house often feels empty, causing them to feel that home only truly exists when the children are present.
Secondly, men may fear the loss of stability and the uncertainty that comes with divorce. A 2024 study in Aging & Mental Health found that older divorcees experienced both freedom and loneliness simultaneously. While some individuals described liberation from unhappy marriages and the opportunity to pursue suppressed desires, others struggled with isolation. These findings underscore a paradox: men may remain in unfulfilling relationships due to fear of instability yet also rely on marriage for emotional security.
Lastly, many men are conditioned to suppress their emotions, which can lead to them normalizing unhappiness as “just part of life.” Research suggests that when husbands repress emotions, it negatively impacts relationship satisfaction, particularly early in the marriage. As dissatisfaction grows, it alters how spouses manage emotions — often leaving both partners emotionally disconnected.
Furthermore, men lack support systems and close friendships, which can make them feel like being in a dysfunctional relationship is better than separating from their partner and facing isolation. This societal expectation of emotional stoicism can be overwhelming for many men.
In conclusion, men are less likely to initiate divorce due to an entanglement of factors including the fear of losing stability, conditioning to suppress emotions, lack of support systems, and cultural expectations that perpetuate toxic masculinity.
I believe that society needs to work on redefining masculinity so that men feel safe enough to open up about their emotional struggles. They need to understand that taking care of others does not mean neglecting themselves, and that seeking emotional honesty is not a sign of weakness.
Source: https://www.forbes.com/sites/traversmark/2025/04/19/why-men-are-less-likely-to-initiate-divorce-than-women—by-a-psychologist/
