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**Beat External Attraction While Committed: 3 Essential Strategies**
As a psychologist, I’ve seen it time and again: couples struggling to maintain intimacy and attraction in their relationship. The temptation of external attention can be overwhelming, but with these three strategies, you’ll be better equipped to redirect your desires back to your partner.
**1. Strengthen the Emotional Core of Your Relationship**
Loneliness and disconnection are breeding grounds for outside attraction. If you feel like you’re just going through the motions without meaningful interactions, it’s no wonder you’re drawn to someone else. Research suggests that emotional detachment may even be a precursor to infidelity. So, what can you do?
Start by recognizing your emotional patterns in relationships. Ask yourself: When do I shut down or withdraw emotionally? What situations make me feel unseen or unappreciated? Identifying these triggers will help you improve communication habits and understand why someone else’s attention feels so alluring.
Schedule undistracted time with your partner, be vulnerable about what you need, and seek therapy if necessary. By doing so, you’ll create a stronger emotional foundation that doesn’t rely on external validation.
**2. Set Strong Boundaries**
Moderate interdependence is essential in romantic relationships. You don’t want to suffocate each other, but you also shouldn’t isolate yourself from your partner. Limit situations that fuel attraction to someone else by reducing one-on-one time and limiting texting frequency. Create internal boundaries to catch and redirect your thoughts before they spiral.
Replace unwanted thoughts with affirmations of commitment or cherished memories of your relationship. Remember why you love your partner and why they love you back. Justifying your attraction won’t strengthen your bond – it will only create a false sense of connection with someone else.
**3. Redirect Your Attraction**
As I mentioned earlier, the intention to choose your partner is crucial in committed relationships. When temptation arises, remind yourself that loyalty is intentional, not instinctual. You didn’t become attracted to your partner overnight; you can also cultivate loyalty over time.
By implementing these strategies, you’ll be better equipped to recognize and redirect unwanted thoughts back to your partner. Remember, attraction may be instinctual, but commitment is the choice we make every day to prioritize our relationship.
Source: https://www.forbes.com/sites/traversmark/2025/05/01/3-ways-to-beat-external-attraction-while-committed—by-a-psychologist/
